No velcro for me. Only laces, buckles, or straps.

7 Feb

I almost threw my shoe at a woman today.

(And by “woman,” I strictly mean anatomically.)

But literally. My shoe was in my hand — not on my foot — and I pulled my arm back and began to throw it, only deciding at the last second that having to explain to future employers that the assault charge on my record was for beaming a colleague in the head with a loafer simply wouldn’t be worth the explanation.

The others in the room flinched, fearing that I was actually about to throw a shoe.

As a child, I always took my anger for my younger sister out on her by throwing things. I take full credit for her quick reflexes and our collective ability to reassemble remote controls, hair brushes, and Barbies.

We had a follow up meeting to last week’s meeting (See “Meet me at the flagpole. It’s going down.”), and after the official meeting, a few of us hung around to have a general chat — nothing secretive, just teaching logistics — and two of the anti-side came back in to further discuss things from the meeting.

I tried to leave because I knew it would not generate a fruitful discussion — which I said — but the guy took that as an opportunity to call me and “my survey” passive aggressive. After a long, drawn out explanation and back and forth as to the contents of the survey, I explained that there was absolutely no malicious intent in the creation of the survey, acknowledging that I did not like him (those exact words because I have the lady balls to tell someone how I feel) and that he did not like me, so I took that into account in the multiple drafts, approved by our advisor, so as to avoid any sort of situation where it could be construed as a personal attack as per his accusation that the survey was a passive aggressive attack to call him out.

I then pointed out that any inference of passive aggressive behavior is something that he needs to own in his victimized interpretation and not pass onto others.

It clearly spiraled from there when I nearly lost my shit.

There was also a statement he made somewhere in the hour long post-meeting meeting where he said he doesn’t believe the school should be relied on as a source of income. He sees being a GTA as a line on the CV. I see being a GTA as the beginning of my lifelong career in academics and first-year composition.

I wonder whose course evaluations are best.

(Hint: mine.)

— AM.

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6 Responses to “No velcro for me. Only laces, buckles, or straps.”

  1. writingthebody February 16, 2013 at 1:50 pm #

    Anger management…well you have it in hand….sorry. This is a lot of fun: and I can see why your raitngs are better than hers (it won’t help if you throw shoes at her though). lol.

    • avamaura February 16, 2013 at 4:20 pm #

      Yeah… it’d help me feel better about not liking her if I just beamed her in the face with my size 8 loafers, but I’d definitely not feel good about the long-term repercussions. Oh well. Someday… someday.
      Thanks for reading!

      • writingthebody February 17, 2013 at 4:04 am #

        You are a heap of fun – and honesty. What do you teach?

        • avamaura February 19, 2013 at 6:17 am #

          I’m a heap of a lot of things. I think it’s from all the gin. And cheese. I love cheese.
          I teach English to barely-adults and adults coming back to school. So, yeah. They totally love me. Because who doesn’t love an English class?

          • writingthebody February 19, 2013 at 12:16 pm #

            I love an English class, and you sound utterly wonderful.

            • avamaura February 20, 2013 at 5:40 am #

              Well thank you. I’m delightfully entertained by the things I say and do, so it’s nice when it’s appreciated by others.

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